Thursday, April 2, 2009

We Need Halal Sex & Better Relationships

In the Name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.

“O Mankind! Fear your Lord who created you, from a single person and

from him, He created his mate of similar nature, and from both speard (like seeds)

countless men and women, and fear Allah, through whom you demand your mutual

(rights), and revere (and respect) the wombs that bore you;

For Allah always watches over you”. 4:1 Q

Sex, Sex, Sex, it seems that even the Muslim world is caught up in the whirlwind & the pitfalls of this 21st century “Sexual Revolution”.

It is mentioned in Hadith that

“the majority of people who will be in Hell, will be there because of lack

of control of one or two things; what is between their lips (i.e. tongue) or what

is between their legs (i.e. private parts).”

In this age of “Media Overload” we are constantly being bombarded with images of one thing or another & most of them are sexual in some shape or form or fashion. Our young are growing up more familiar with the light & sounds from a screen than the face and sound of daddy. What had become a children’s form of entertainment (cartoons), has now become just another vehicle for infusing our young with sexual images, ideas & fantasies far too early for their little bodies to comprehend.

It’s no wonder that even we Muslims are having so many problems in our sexual relationships. More & more Muslims are becoming involved with Same Sex Encounters (SSE), both men & women, before and after marriage. Much more are being addicted to Porn, Masturbation or just plain old Fornication and despite the increase in all these things the conversation and efforts for the rectification thereof seem to be far less, or at least still very inadequate.

I have read many responses from several Sheikhs on various websites answering the questions of Brothers/Sister who are looking for help from these matters & unfortunately their answers are surely correct, just are plain & out of touch. They don’t give a clear methodology that the person can see and implement in his/her life to make the changes that they are crying out for. Hence many give up trying and begin to just accept things they way they are & drift further & further away from their Deen.

Those suffering from SSA (Same Sex Attractions) and who may be involved in SSE (Same Sex Encounters) have some of the most difficulties, mostly because shaytan gets them to start to doubt whether or not they can have a healthy normal relationship with the opposite sex. Hence worry and fear for OSA (Opposite Sex Attraction) keeps many Muslims from marrying well into their 30’s & 40’s.

Then you have those who are just “normal” guys & gals who also become involved in or addicted to Porn, Masturbation & Fornication, not realizing the detriment it will have on their Marital Sex Life and Parent-Child relationships down the road when they become parents. That is why Uncle Bilal is here to talk to you about what no one else really will.

Divorce is on such an overwhelming increase in the Muslim Ummah these days, like never even perhaps feared before. In many cases Sex & money play the two biggest parts for divorce. With the sex part ranging from being on top or something buried deep below the surface. Believe me many divorces took place without the spouse ever coming to know, what living hell the other was going through in some sexual matter. So these things need to be addressed.

I’m Uncle Bilal, an African American Muslim who reverted to Islam more than 40 yrs ago. My father having been in The Nation of Islam & left it, I grew up in the church up until I was about 16 (shortly after Al Hajj Malik, Malcolm X’s assignation) I met and started being with some Sunni Muslims from time to time.

Growing up in this non-Muslim society in the era that I did & in the place that I did, it was not uncommon for sex & sexual activities to start very young. For most by teen years, however it so happened with me that I got involved with sex starting from the about the age of 9.

Introduced to male-female sexual activity by my babysitter around 9 & introduced also to male-male sexual play by my cousins around 12. I grew up most of my life considering myself to be bi-sexual and struggled with ups & downs even after accepting Islam. Al Humdulil laa by the Grace & Mercy of Allah I eventually got everything under control.

For the past few years I have been counseling brothers/sisters in a few other online groups dealing with sexual matters and now starting to make my own blogs. In my normal life I am a Teacher & also have been counseling brother/sisters of all ages in these matters as well.

My little knowledge of Deen has always had me as an assistant Imam and helping the Imam teach or to counsel married couples on life & marriage etc. I also have been very active working with the youth & do the same there. I have 3 lovely wives & fathered 7 children & raised 4 step-children. Thus far it seems that the experiences that Allah (swt) has allowed me to go through has proven valuable to many others, now I want to expand that, if He permits.

Its time to put Halal Sexual Knowledge back into our Relationships & improve our marriages and family life & do as Allah has commanded us;

“O you who believe, save (protect) yourselves and your families

from a fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are (appointed)

angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but

do what they are commanded.”

66:6 Q